I don't normally post this stuff

I don't normally post this sort of thing, but the headline leaped out to grab my attention.

British dwarf's penis gets stuck to hoover

That's bad enough, but the first paragraph was worse.

EDINBURGH (AFP) - A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.

You may ask your self "How could this NOT have gone awry?" Dwarf, fringe festival, vacuum cleaner. Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.

It's not that the size of the performer that makes for trouble. No, it's the one-up spirit of things like a "fringe festival". Last year the 450 lb transvestite singing "The Good Ship Lollipop" was the big "thing". So what's a guy to do but get out his Hoover and stick it...

You can see the problem. It could have been the 450 lb transvestite who suffered this fate if things had turned out different.